Here in Guatemala it is quite common for a couple to have a baby, live together, and get married...in that order. (Although, sometimes they live together before having the baby.) I have one co-worker in such a position. She and her partner have a son who is a little over a year old. Because I don't have all the details, this won't be a very long story. Basically, his parents don't like her, and her parents don't like him. And if this were a simple question of boyfriend/girlfriend, this culture would tell them to leave it alone; however, there is the baby involved, and because of that, my friend and her partner seem determined to make it work.
My friend told me the other day that her parent was upset because he hasn't had time with the baby in a long time; so she (we?) concocted a scheme to let daddy see and spend time with his son. It was apparently not as well-concocted as my friend would have liked, and we returned home to a very upset mother. (Although, based on the circumstantial evidence the mother used against my friend, it would not have held up in the court of law.) What bothered me was not so much that my friend got "caught," but how her mother talked about my friend's partner.
The family is supposedly Christian (Evangelical Lutheran). I sat with them in church yesterday morning. And I realize that Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven. I have my own sins which I struggle with too. However, what I witnessed last night coming out of my friend's mother's mouth is part of an attitude which I think would not be difficult to change.
I think all parents want their children to grow up and marry good people and live happy lives. Since there's already a baby involved, I think my friend's mother would be much better off praying that this young man will change AND acting as though he has already changed. I think she would find much better results. But my friend has just shown up for work; so I think I'll go say "hi!" :)
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