There are days I get frustrated. There are days when I say to myself, "I could do so much more good if I had X." Some days "X" is "a bigger budget." Some days "X" is "more man power." Some days "X" is "a vehicle." Some days "X" is "a large house either owned or rented with a contract." Some days I look at other missions which I deem to be "more successful" than my own which usually means they have one or more of my Xs...and get frustrated because I see them wasting what they have been given. But then I am reminded of a lot of wisdom from various places in my life, some of which I don't even remember the source of.
1. Be still and know that [God is] God.
2. While many men who have shown a romantic interest in me during the last 5 years have had only one thing on their mind--going to the US--my handsomer half has never had that interest. In fact, he has only changed his mind about that since getting engaged to me because he knows that much of my family cannot or will not travel, and he knows that I want them to meet him. Why is the US of no draw to him? Because he is tired of seeing his countrymen (and women and children) making an expensive and dangerous journey to a far away country all in search of "a better life" which involves sending money to the people they abandoned back home. He wants to prove that a Guatemalan can make it in Guatemala. How does that apply to my situation? Well, I have what I have...and while things of this world could make my ministry easier, Christians aren't necessarily called to an easier life.
3. Matthew 25:14-30. Brief summary: Rich guy gives his servants various amounts of money to invest for a certain amount of time. Each was given a different amount. Two of them invest the money and double it. The last one hides the money in the ground and gives it back when the master comes back. Sometimes I feel like that last servant. I imagine we all do from time to time. It's a plateau we hit where we doubt our abilities and become content with where we are or become scared of taking that next step. We just want to hold on to what we have and try to not lose that...but that's not the point of life nor the point of ministry.
4. Getting frustrated because someone isn't using what they have properly won't change my situation any besides giving me high blood pressure and raising my stress levels, and that has never helped anyone. Stress less.