The Little Mermaid: Day 1,624

I am actually not in front of my computer as this post goes live.  I should be at my future in-laws' house getting ready to celebrate my first Christmas with them.  Technology allows me to schedule this post to go live in the future.  YAY!

The other day, I had "Part of Your World" from "The Little Mermaid" stuck in my head.  Why, I have no clue, especially as it has been years since I've seen that movie.  At any rate, one line stuck in my head. "Betcha' on land, they understand. / Bet they don't reprimand their daughters."

No, this post has nothing to do with my parents.  What it does have something to do with is cultures.  When we haven't had the time to live in a culture and the only exposure we have is through "gizmos and gadgets aplenty," we are bound to have assumptions about that culture without really knowing.  And there are two paths those assumptions can take.  We can assume that the other culture is like our culture or unlike our culture.  Ariel (The Little Mermaid) assumes that the "human culture" is unlike "mermaid culture" where, apparently, daughters are reprimanded.

I am a "gizmo and gadget" of US culture.  My can opener is another.  As are a couple other things which I can't think of right now but that my fiance has asked "What's this?  What's it for?"  Sometimes my neighbors ask questions which seem weird to me.  Sometimes their questions reflect their culture so much that I completely don't understand what it is they are trying to ask.

I still remember when one of my neighbors felt offended that I wouldn't buy one of her weavings.  I didn't have the money for it and, quite frankly, I didn't want it.  However, "I don't want that" sounds too much (in my head) like "That's an ugly weaving you've made;" so, I simply told her that I didn't have money to buy it and didn't know when I would.  She said something like "Well, when do they send it?"  And I was like "Who send what?"  "Your parents," she replied.  "They send you money to make sure you have what you need."  And I'm thinking, "Look, lady.  What my parents do or do not send me is none of your business.  If you must know, my mother sends me a care package once or twice per year, and I see them once or twice per year and always bring down a bunch of stuff.  While I'm there, they provide a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and a reasonable amount of gas in their car for me to use.  It is rare that my parents actually give me money, not because they don't think I need being cared for but because they feel that for the most part they have taught me to care for myself."  As for what I actually told her, "Oh, no.  The culture there is very different from the culture here.  I'm an adult and my parents expect me to care for myself.  They don't send me money, and I haven't taught many English classes this week."  (When she insisted I take it and pay her when I did have the money, I insisted that I prefer to not owe anyone money and that if I had the money in the future, I'd go to her house and look at her current work.  I haven't seen or talked to her since...and I still don't have the money or the interest.)

Anyway, this neighbor did the opposite of Ariel in the Little Mermaid.  She assumed that the US culture was the same as the Guatemalan culture.  And I think the assumptions we make are mostly based on whether or not we see something as a good thing or a bad thing.  If it's something we perceive as good (on some level), we assume that other cultures are the same.  If it's something we perceive as bad, we assume other cultures are different.  Don't get me wrong.  It's not bad to reprimand your daughters, but when a girl is 14 or 16 or whatever, she does not want to be reprimanded, and it is bad in her opinion.  At the same time, parents sending their adult children money could be a good thing, but it could also easily be a bad thing as the child doesn't necessarily learn to be an independent adult...which really isn't an issue in this culture as families tend to share more, but I won't go into international financial success in this post (or probably ever unless someone really wants to hear about it).

Anyway, I ramble a lot, but basically we take the parts of our culture that we like and apply them to unknown cultures and we take the parts of our culture that we don't like and assume that other cultures are different.  And then when we get to really know the other culture, we somehow are surprised when the other culture doesn't work out the way we figured.  And sometimes it's a good surprise...and sometimes it's not a good surprise.

Preparing for 2015 and Beyond: Day 1,619

So, as I mentioned in my last post, there was still more to write.  In that post, I told you about the visits to the families, but I didn't say much about looking to the future because the post was already much too long.

There are a few changes/additions I'd like to make for the 2015 school year.  First of all, I'd like to start the Saturday children's program.  This will be a time for the kids to come together and learn about health, educational, and spiritual topics.  It is the largest change/addition to the program in terms of number of kids affected.  The program always had this planned in, but it didn't happen this year due to a number of reasons--not being sure if the other community was going to join back in or not, not having a list of pertinent topics, general unpreparedness, and a lack of good material transportation--which have mostly been resolved for the next year and others of which which shall be resolved before the kids go back to school.  These programs would provide the families more opportunities to earn points which is important to keep some of these kids in school, and they will provide the kids with more information.  My only problem with them is that they will primarily be in Spanish for the time being, a language that some of the younger children don't know very well.

Second of all, we'll start looking forward to 2016.  (I know, you're all like "What?  It's not even 2015 yet and you're already talking about 2016?!"  Hear me out.)  In one month, two of my girls are going to be starting 9th grade.  After 9th grade there is no education available for them in their community.  They are either done or they go somewhere else to keep studying.  

Where they live, the nearest town to continue their education is in the city of Solola.  This would be a 2-hour round-trip and cost them about Q20 each...each day.  On bus fare alone, they would pay more than I pay in rent on my house each month.  

Additionally, according to Manuel (my community contact for that area), the education in the city is much more advanced than the education in the village.  He actually moves his entire family to the city each school year so that his younger children start their schooling in the city and aren't as affected by this as his older ones were.  That means that, when Wendy and Mercedes do get to [the Guatemalan equivalent of] 10th grade, they will be behind.  And considering that they are already two of the most educated people in their village, help is something not very available to them.

That's why, in 2016, with agreement from the girls and their parents, I'd like to bring them to live with me, just outside of Antigua.  It is still a Kaqchikel town even if many people their age no longer speak the language.  They will be able to continue to participate in a lot of their practices such as weaving and habits of dress.  They will have a lot more educational resources available to them as well as many people with higher levels of education who will be able to tutor and mentor them.  They will be able to learn English and will hopefully teach me Kaqchikel (giving back to the program).  I will be able to better pay for their school costs rather than the families waiting a month or two to be able to get back the money that they need for so many other things.  The girls will be able to accompany me for the Saturday meetings and see their families every month, potentially picking up or dropping off weaving work to help with the family's income.  They can help me plan the Saturday lessons and  help present them.  However, if I look forward to 2016 and these two girls, I must also look forward to 2017.

I currently have one spare room in my house.  I can't even call it spare; I sleep in it when it is too cold to sleep upstairs.  (Okay, so I'd probably make a condition that the girls need to make two blankets each for the downstairs bed so that I could use ALL of the blankets on the upstairs bed for those cold nights.)  This is fine because it's two girls.  In fact, I wouldn't want them to have their own rooms because they'd probably get lonely.  (Right now both girls each share one room with their entire family.)  However, like I said, I must also look forward to 2017.  In 2017, Ronaldo--if his family agrees with it--would also come to live with me.  So, the girls could move upstairs with me, but I still don't have any more extra beds.  At the end of 2017, Efraim, Estuardo, and Luis will graduate.  The house that I live in cannot accommodate that set-up.  

Basically, in the next two years, I need to find somewhere new to live.  Now, the great news is that there is an excellent house here in the center of town that would be absolutely perfect for the growing needs of the program. (It doesn't all just end after those three boys graduate.  Somewhere in here we start adding new families and new villages.)  However, from what we've heard, the house--which is a mansion--costs about $120,000.  We haven't yet been able to get a hold of the owner to find out what his real selling price is and what financing options might be available.  This is not an affordable price for me as I've been working for only board and minimal food for the last 4 years, nor is it an affordable price for my fiance who makes about $500/month.  This is 120 people donating $1,000.  This is 1,200 people donating $100.  This is one person who really wants a vacation home in Guatemala donating the whole $120,000.  (Believe me, if you buy a house for myself and these kids, you will have your own special room or two cleaned for whenever you want to come and visit with meals prepared for you free-of-charge.  You'd be our best friend, and there's more than enough room for you.  Remember, Holy Week in Antigua is one of the biggest celebrations of its type you can find in the world; hotel rates are doubled and require a 3-5 day reservation...made at least 3 months in advance.)

Another a house just down the street from where I live now which costs $15,000 and is literally just walls with no roof, floors, electrical work, or plumbing.  The first floor has supposedly been built out of reinforced block which would allow for the building of a second floor.  It currently has 4 rooms (one of which would be my kitchen).  While it's 1/10th of the cost, it would require a lot of work to be livable.  Fortunately, unlike the other house, that's the maximum selling price...not the assumed minimum.  (A neighbor of mine thinks that we could get it for $9,000...and then all that work that would cost who knows how much.)  The piece of land is quite small.

The final option--which the fiance does not like--is a piece of land on the edge of town.  It's roughly the size of the first house and costs about $7,250.  It has no house on it.  The land would need to be cleared.  My fiance doesn't like it because he doesn't feel it's safe for me to be living in such a secluded area.

Anyway, I'm not looking for a solution today.  It's just something that's on my mind for the future that I wanted to share with you.  If you're a praying person, please pray about our future living situation.  If you're a fundraising person and want to share the work I'm doing with others in order to raise money for a house, please do and let me know if you have any questions or need any information.  I don't know what God has planned for us, but it's exciting all the same; I'm just glad He has allowed me to serve during these last 4+ years and am looking forward to 40 more (at least...or however long He gives me life for).

Saying Goodbye to 2014: Day 1,612

Yesterday I went out to Solola and visited each family separately in their homes.  I was able to talk with them, see where they are at, and have some important conversations.  So, I thought maybe I'd share with you a bit about each family and my time with them yesterday and their hopes and dreams for the future.

Manuel and I (with his daughter as our chaperone) started our visits around 9:30 yesterday.  First we went to visit the family of Maria Elena.  She is a widow with 7 children.  She wasn't there when we arrived, but her mother was around and told us that Maria had had an emergency and needed to go to the city of Solola.  So, I had a nice chat with Luis, her 10-year old son, instead.  He was able to help us answer any questions we had.  Both he and Griselda passed! We didn't take a picture with that family because so few people were home.

Then we headed over to see Catarina's family.  You will best remember her for her two children Ronaldo and Carmelina.  (Ronaldo was very briefly mentioned in this post and this post, but not by name.  He's the boy who was born without part of his left arm.) Catarina wasn't there either, but her husband was.  So, we had a nice chat with him during which he told us that Catarina's seizures are still down to once every week or two; while that is good, he feels that mentally she isn't really there, that the years of seizures took their toll.  Ronaldo showed off his new arm (Thank you, Wuqu' Kawoq!), and he was a lot more talkative than he was the last two times I saw him.  I'm not sure if it's maturity, a growing trust in me, or a growing confidence in himself.  They told me that he doesn't usually take his arm to school with him.  The gripping mechanism is apparently controlled by his other arm, and he doesn't have enough strength in that one to really grip very well.  Also, well, his hand's "skin color" is the same as mine...so he doesn't really look quite right anyway.  His dad says that the other kids were making rude comments about his arm, and I couldn't help but comment that they probably did that anyway.  (They admitted that it was true.)  So, Ronaldo and his three younger siblings all passed their classes.  Efraim, the next in age after Ronaldo, finished 6th grade this year.  After completing 6th grade, their three older brothers all stopped going to school and started working, and dad admitted to me that they weren't planning on having Efraim continue (which grows my suspicion that Ronaldo is still in school because they consider him worthless in the fields) because it is expensive to continue his education.  However, Efraim has the best grades in the entire family.  So, with dad across the table from me and the two boys to my right, I asked Efraim if he wanted to stay in school.  He said yes.  I asked him what he wants to be when he grew up.  He wants to be a lawyer.  I asked Ronaldo if he wants to stay in school.  I asked him what he wants to be, and he wants to be a doctor.  (One of my two future doctors said they wanted to be a pediatrician, but I don't remember which one; the other one wants to be a general doctor.)  I explained to dad exactly how the point system works and told them that I'm in this for the long haul, that I want the boys to study, the boys want the boys to study; so, does dad want a doctor and a lawyer in the family?  Efraim is going to stay in school and achieve a higher level of study than any of his older two-natural-handed brothers have.

After that, we went to visit Juana's family (not the Juana who I have written about extensively.  Sorry).  Once again, the mother was not at home.  It was weird since I mostly see the moms; this seemed to be a morning of dads.  The visit to her home isn't much to write home about.  The kids all passed which was good.  I guess the only thing of note is that we found out that the scale I received as a donation in May is a little finicky.  As most of the houses don't have floors, the dirt floors aren't always very level.  If the floor isn't level, the scale doesn't process weight properly.

When we left Juana's house, Manuel let me know that we had been invited to a special lunch by one of our families.  When we arrived, they had put a table in a small room for the three of us.  The floor was covered with pine needles, a sign that it was a special occasion. They served us "caldo de gallina criolla" which roughly translates to "young hen broth."  (Believe me, it tastes MUCH better than it sounds.)  After we ate, we got around to business, but it was a difficult conversation.  While both of their two older daughters passed, the younger of the two is not earning high enough grades to get any points.  That means the older daughter (and the baby) are carrying the weight.  They didn't have enough points to buy school supplies for the two girls as a result.  I've decided to let them "borrow"points from the baby--since they are a guaranteed 5 points every meeting and therefore they'll pay them off--but it almost made me cry as they had just served us this beautiful meal and I couldn't even let them buy anything (via the program) in January.

After that, we visited another family.  It's a family that has given us a little bit of a problem during the year, but nothing too serious.  Mostly it's just the mother of the family insisting that I've totaled her point incorrectly and that she does have enough points to buy whatever it is that she wants that month.  Her husband works in the field and supports both his mother and his brother (who has bad kidneys and doesn't expect to live much longer, currently on dialysis ever 4 hours).  They have 3 children in school and two children who aren't yet in school.  So, somehow one man working in the fields supporting 8 other people on his own managed to build a house (and his wife insists that they don't receive help from any other source).  I'm really skeptical.  And maybe they think that if they receive help from elsewhere that I'm going to support them less or even cut off support all together.  The reality is that I want to know what physical needs are being met and what ones aren't.  One of her sons had broken his leg, but otherwise the family was doing well.  The youngest two even played with me which is something that some of the younger kids are afraid of doing.  The uncle showed up while we were there and wanted to know if there's anything we can do for him.  I'm really bad at "no" so I told him if he showed up at our distribution meetings, he could help weigh stuff and I'd give him a couple pounds of food staples.  I mean, I'm not going to pay him a lot for a couple hours of work, but I do need to make it worth the trip over.  I had been planning on giving an extra pound of whatever to each of the people who helped us weigh stuff last time, but they all vanished by the time I got a chance to address them and thank them for their help.  (They were some of the fathers who had come to help carry stuff home.)  So, this isn't too different...just the uncle instead of the father.

At my insistence, we dropped by another house while we were in that village.  We originally started this community with 11 families, but only 10 had ever shown up.  Despite what I had heard from other people, I wanted to visit the family myself and ask if it was true that they didn't want to be in the program.  Upon arriving, we heard a very different story.  They had heard they were accepted into the program, but an emergency came up, and they didn't go to the first meeting.  At that first meeting, Manuel took down everyone's phone number in order to be able to communicate with them directly.  The other family in their village (the previous one) never went and visited them like they said they would; they simply reported back to us that the other family wasn't interested.  I'll admit, I can't blame them; the second family lives a little far from the first family.  It would be quite the walk just to be altruistic.  (Although, I walk plenty.)  However, I wouldn't have lied about it; I would have just stated that I hadn't yet gone to talk to them.  Anyway, the kids were a little freaked out to see the white girl again after a year and a half.  They had grown so much!  It was a rough visit, but we all made it through.  It was really interesting to see how Luisa greeted me (or not) in comparison to the women I've been working with all year.  She did the old "I speak Spanish, but I'm going to pretend I don't" trick.  She didn't look to me.  She responded to my questions sometimes, but mostly she acted like I wasn't there, talking only to Manuel.  If I hadn't already had lots of encounters like that and survived them all to know some really great women behind the armor, it would have been quite off-putting.

Our next stop was David's family.  I had brought homemade Christmas cookies for each member of each family, and I think David's goal was to double the number of cookies they had in the bag but half the size.  (He was throwing the bag around and breaking the cookies.  Not to be destructive, but because he's a 3-year old that just wants to play with everything.  I have a 6-month old puppy who is about the same; so I understand.)  They were all doing well.  Wendy and Floricelda both passed all their classes and were excited about starting the new year.  They invited us to eat corn--which I'm really not supposed to eat as it messes with my intestines, but I'm still horrible at saying "no."  Besides, I really like corn and it doesn't bother me as much as eggs do--and I ate both ears they gave me, being careful to chew thoroughly (as it's the kernel, not the corn itself, that bothers me).  As we left, Wendy thanked me for the Bible I had given her (and every) family.  She said that she just started attending a youth group at church; so the Bible would come in handy.

We continued on to Irma's family.  Irma had lost a baby in September, and I hadn't seen her since.  So, it was good to see her and find out how she's doing.  The family seemed to be doing well.  Nelson was out working with his father; so only three of the family members were home.  When I first met them, one of their kittens crawled up in my lap while I was interviewing the family.  This year they had puppies...so adorable.  (No, I'm not raising another one in the foreseeable future!)  Everyone passed their classes.  Everyone was happy.  Everyone was healthy.  So, we continued onto the next stop.

It's always a pleasure to visit Mercedes and her family.  As we walked up, there she was weaving.  I won't pretend that kids with special needs don't terrify me just a tiny bit, but that doesn't mean that I don't try to get to know them.  Clara had a bit of a cold, and her mother said that Clara's throat was bothering her as well.  I can't say it surprised me that she was sick as the temperature was cold there!  I had left my coat in the truck as it had been warm during the day, but when Mercedes' mother took my hand, she noted how cold my fingers were.  After a bit, she said something to Mercedes, and she brought me a gorgeous woven Christmas scarf out of her room.  She said it was a present for me.  I sort of felt bad as I knew they had probably only given it to me as I had foolishly left my coat in the car, but I also know that I would have offended them if I had rejected it.  So, I simply accepted it with a smile and wrapped it around me.  If that weren't enough, Mercedes said that they had something else for me and went back in her room (shared by the entire family) and returned with a letter that her father had written for me.  I've never met her father, but from what I know (mostly from Mercedes herself) is that her father likes to drink away whatever he earns making life very difficult for the family especially with all of Clara's health needs.  At any rate, it was a sweet letter thanking me for all I've done for his family.  I don't feel like I've done much, just what I can.  Luis is ready to head back to school; in fact, they've already signed up.

After that, we called it a night.  The other two families live close to where Manuel lives; so we headed back to his place for dinner, conversation, and sleep.  It was nice to see his wife again and catch up.  Evelyn showed off her new weaving project.  Two of his sons are working in a store down by the coast for vacation, but his other two sons were there.  One of them is quite ill, and they're not quite sure what's wrong with him.  I'm hoping it's just the flu.

In the morning, I set out once again with Evelyn and, this time, Manuel's wife.  He had other responsibilities to attend to, and since the last two families live in the same community, his wife could find them.  Her Spanish isn't quite as good as his, but we talked about what I've been asking and saying during conversation the previous night; we even pulled out the scale and the shoe-size measurer.

Our first visit of the day was to Emerigildo's family.  I don't recall ever having mentioned them here, but I know I mentioned them to Madeline's family as they brought me a donated pair of gym shoes for the older girl.  This family has struggled a bit this year.  When the year started, their three oldest children went to school.  Ismael (age 14) started 4th grade.  Wendy Elizabeth (age 10) and Estefania (age 8) started 1st grade.  Sometime around the 3rd marking period, Ismael dropped out of school.  He felt awkward being so old in a classroom full of 10-year olds.  Estefania's grades have been low all year, and every marking period I have had to talk to her about them.  So, today when we got to their house, we found out that Estefania had failed the school year.  It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but I knew it was pretty impossible to pass.  I asked her if she liked school, and she said she did.  So, I asked what the problem was, and she didn't answer.  Her parents stated that she doesn't do her homework.  So, getting down to the tough questions, I asked what the plan is for next year.  They decided that she'll try 1st grade again.  (I personally would have put her to work for a year if she were my daughter, but she's not.)  In addition to the two girls, their younger brother will also be starting preschool.  With any luck, he'll never be in the situation that his three older siblings are in.

Our last stop was the widow Marta.  She has 4 children, three of whom were in school this year.  All three of them were weary but friendly enough, and the two boys answered my questions about school with somewhat of enthusiasm.  The oldest child--a daughter--was a bit shy.  The only place we could find for the scale in their house was up on a chair, so Marta herself declined being weighed.

All in all, it was a good trip, and it was excellent to see the families (even those which led to stressful conversations).  I saw some wonderful grades (94, even!).  I saw some friendly faces.  I had some excellent conversations.  All of the families got a bag of cookies and a Bible.

There is more to write, but I think I'll save it for another post.  I've been working on this one steadily for the last hour and somewhat sporadically for the three hours before that.

Mission Moment: December

 I had a wonderful time seeing many of you when I worshiped with you on the 9^th, and I had a really great group for the post-Bible Study meeting on the 11^th. Thanks to all who came out! We had a great discussion, and we didn't have time to ask and answer all the questions that we wanted to ask and answer. So, we agreed that one of them I would answer here. It was asked "What are the three greatest needs in Guatemala?" This, to some extent, is a fairly easy question to answer, but how to fix them is a much more difficult question. (Prayer is a great start!)

First, although it is hard to quantify, I think that the faith life of these people is worth noting. Just as in the US, there are so many people who seem to be stagnant in their faith. They seem to do nothing most of the year, but then when the big holidays show up, they do them in grand style...sometimes so grand that they miss the entire point of the holiday. Additionally, many Catholics practice an odd form of Catholicism mixed with their traditional Mayan faith practices. Essentially, when the first missionaries (Jesuit priests, I believe, but don't quote me on that) came over, they found it easiest to tell the people that the practices that they were doing were actually commemorating Catholic saints and holidays and that they were simply doing them wrong...rather than risk telling the people that their gods were false and everything they knew about religion was false. It has created a fascinating but dangerous mix.

Second is a living wage. Minimum wage is about Q2,300 (roughly $300, but completely irrelevant as the economy is different too) per month, but most people don't earn that, especially the families I work with. All but one of the fathers is a day laborer; when there is work, a truck drives down the road picking up anyone who wants to work until the limit is reached. Anyone else goes without work for the day. If there is no work, everyone goes without work for the day. (The other father works in a barber shop where he pays most of what he earns to rent a clipper kit; that problem is already being worked on.) Just so you understand how quickly that Q2,300 for the month can disappear, let's assume that I get a minimum wage job in Antigua (pretty much the only place to get a minimum wage job around here) 6 days per week.

Public Transportation: Q4 (one way) x 2(ways) x 26 days = Q208

Lunch (chicken sandwich and tiny pop, the least expensive option): Q9 x 26 days = Q234
Other meals (beans and rice with tortillas, the least expensive option): About Q6 x (31 breakfasts + 31 dinners + 5 lunches) = Q402

Clean drinking water = Q9

House rent = Q600

Electric bill = Q30

Water bill = Q5

That's Q1,488 right there. And I am one person. Imagine supporting a family off of that. Two people (spouses, with only one working) would spend Q1,813 (doubling the water—both drinking and washing—bills and having the other person eat 93 meals of rice and beans during the month and adding in 4 weekly trips to Antigua for the second person to potentially buy vegetables and other necessary household supplies). And neither of those figures is including the soap to wash dishes and clothes nor toilet paper or any other household consumable. What about if they need to buy a uniform for their job or just need another piece of clothing in general? If their shoes wear out? If someone invites them to a birthday party (and have to buy a present)? There is only a Q500 barrier; there is no room to get sick or injured. Now consider the multitude of people who don't make minimum wage. There are no consistent government programs to help them. There are no food stamps. There is no Medicaid. There are no after-school programs. There are no free or reduced-price lunches. So, for people who don't earn minimum wage and for people with families, cuts have to be made somewhere. (For the record, my housing rent is extremely low; even if people owned their own land and house, they would probably be paying some reasonably similar amount on property taxes.) And if cuts aren't made, more people need to work to support the family. This second issue actually covers a great deal of issues, but let's press on.

I suppose the third issue would be the lack of education. Here I'm not just talking about going to school, although that is part of it. However, many professionals are lacking the knowledge and skills to be able to do their job properly. I have a very sadanecdotefrom a missionary in a nearby town. He works with special needs kids and even has a home for orphaned ones. A few months ago, one of his special needs girls went into respiratory distress. Two of his kids started driving the van for the hospital but called an ambulance on the way while he sat in the back with the girl monitoring her situation and eventually starting CPR when her heart started failing. They met up with the ambulance, made the transfer, and as her legal guardian, the missionary went with them in the back. It was soon quite clear that the paramedics had no clue what to do for the girl; so the man made them step aside and went back to caring for the girl. She arrived at the hospital dead. I'm not saying that she would have made it if they had known what to do, but I am saying that without the CPR there is nothing short of a miracle that would have gotten her there alive. The police and hospital staff face a similar problem; they are terribly under-equipped (sorry, that's a snuck-in, piggy-back #4). In the hospitals, it is sometimes the case of doctors taking the hospital goods for their own private practices, but—not to approve of their actions—the reality is that they probably couldn't get those supplies for their patients otherwise. However, I've also heard that some of the Guatemalan doctors have asked to work alongside the medical team that comes down every January in hopes of learning some of their techniques, and I know that US Border Patrol comes down to work with the Guatemalan police to make them better. Now, if only I could get past the fact that a university graduate didn't know that a raisin was actually a dehydrated grape...

The Care and Keeping of a Missionary

It really was quite a pleasure to be in fellowship with all of you in November. Thank you for that time. Thank you for your kind words. Thank you for your encouragement. I ask for your prayers for the 3.5 situations I've mentioned in this article; prayer changes things. Pray for those who are actively working to make a change and pray for the places where there is no one to help that change happen. Pray about being that change.

I look forward to hearing from any and all of you via e-mail: asimmer@gmail.com. Please feel free to send me questions about what I'm doing here, and I can try to answer those in future articles. And, although it hasn't been updated in a while, I also have been a bit better about making more regular updates on my blog which can be found at http://GringaOnTheGround.blogspot.com in case you don't want to wait for the next newsletter to come out!

Language Learning

If you remember, working with the families I work with, they don't always speak Spanish. And they CERTAINLY don't speak English. They speak Kaqchikel which is a Mayan language. Many people assume that it is a derivative of Spanish, but the Kaqchikel were living in Guatemala and communicating long before the Spaniards ever showed up. It was not a written language; so even today there is some disagreement about spelling, and there is some pronunciation variation between towns. Not that I've studied Korean, but Kaqchikel sounds like Korean to me.

This month's phrase is “Shoe-la.” (I have no clue how it is spelled, but that's how it is pronounced.) “Shoe-la” means “That's all” or “No more.” If you are eating at someone's house and they ask you if you want more food but you don't, you'd say “shoe-la.” If you are buying things at the market and you've checked off everything on your shopping list and the store attendant asks if there is anything else you want, you'd say “shoe-la.” I think the expression most similar in Guatemalan Spanish would be “Ya no,” but that's very Guatemalan and doesn't translate very well literally to English.

Mission Moment: November

Again, this is the newsletter article for my sending church.  Due to the public-ness of this blog post, some information has been removed for privacy.

 So much has happened in the last month! At the very end of September, I had the opportunity to take my fiance out to Solola to meet the families I work with there. In addition to meeting them, he also had the opportunity to share his story with them. For many of the mothers in the program, they understand this struggle. Two of the ten women are widows. Among the other eight, at least one of them has an alcoholic husband who will drink any money he finds in the house. So, to meet a young man who comes from the same situation as their children are in and who is graduating from the university this year, it gives them hope.

At that meeting, we also checked the grades to see how the children are progressing. Most continue their slow progress upward. One boy's grades plummeted downward, and when I asked his father what was going on, he stated that his wife had lost a pregnancy (which is why she wasn't there), and that the boy was so worried about his mother that he refused to go to school. Sweet, but I really hope he brings his grades up in the last marking period; I don't want a lost pregnancy to be a lost year in school as well. I imagine that if I were in that financial situation, two stresses instead of one would not be preferred. On a happier note, one boy's grades skyrocketed! I asked his mother what happened. “It was the shoes,” she told me. The previous visit, I had brought shoes that they could buy for 2 points per pair. (With the rough calculation from dollars to “points,” it was about $1.) I had brought them for the people who had asked me to bring them, and then I had brought a few more to give some variety. After those who had asked for them had picked out their shoes, I allowed the other families to look through the remaining shoes. Anyway, this boy had received a new-to-him (secondhand) pair of school shoes, and, according to his mother, that got him excited about doing better in school and earning more points! Some of the girls are receiving low grades in gym class because they don't feel comfortable wearing gym shorts. We're looking at the possibility of sweat pants for next year as that is a uniform option that the school allows; however they do cost more than the shorts which is why lots of families don't get them.

We also had the chance to visit some new families which might be added to the program next year. At one house, a woman showed us what she does. Her eyes are no longer good enough to weave, but she does make baskets. It was a gorgeous basket with a lid, perhaps the size of a large saucepan. My fiance asked her how much she sells them for, and she said that she sells them for Q5 each once she has decorated them. (The one she showed us wasn't yet decorated.) Q5 is about 62 cents in US money. Needless to say, he bought it and paid her double (Q10), but we can't do that for everyone nor on a regular basis.

On October 1^st, I had the opportunity to attend a seminar via the internet. (Bonus: it was free to online participants!) It was called “Helping Without Hurting,” and it's about the proper way to help people so that they don't become dependent on the help they are receiving. It gave me a lot of thoughts to take with me when I went to visit my families again.

So, two weeks later, I went to visit my families again. I had them sit in a circle with women from the different villages all separated so they could see the women they know best, and I asked them “What are you good at? What do you like doing?” I'm sitting there ready for someone to tell me that they love to write (even though all 10 of my mothers are illiterate), and for someone else to open up and say that she loves to paint (even though even the kids rarely have paint for school). And no one had an answer. The community leader said, “Well, they all weave. That's what they do.” Fine. “Well, what are they good at weaving? Do they have any particular shape they love to weave? Flowers? Birds?” Nothing. So excited about bringing this up, and nothing. So, I gave it one last shot. “What if there was one more hour in the day. No, I'm not God. I can't gift you another hour, but what if? The laundry is done. The dishes are done. The sweeping is done. The mending is done. There is nothing that needs to be done! What would you do?” Well, it got some of them laughing, but one woman said, “Well, I might like to learn how to use a sewing machine.” I asked her if she had ever used one before or if she would have to learn, and she said she would have to learn...but that it was something she'd like to do. And before long, I had about 7 women who were thinking that a sewing machine sounded like a great idea. And another woman said that her husband is a barber, but that he is paid little where he works because he has to pay to use the clippers of another guy. “He's a really great barber, but he needs his own clippers.” I asked them about their dreams for themselves, and most of them said that they would really love to have a real house; one man went so far as to remind me that his kitchen is just 4 poles with tarp wrapped around it. (Don't worry. I haven't forgotten.) One woman said she'd like to learn English to communicate with me better; I told her I'd trade her English classes for Kaqchikel classes for the same reason.

So, the community leader, in front of everyone, decided to ask me how possible these houses were. I said that I really don't have that kind of funding, but if we can work towards sewing machines as a group, the women themselves can work toward houses. The women weave, but they don't have anyone to sell the weavings to as all of the women do the same kind of work. So, people come along and they pay them $10 to weave these typical shawls. If the women can sew the two halves of the shawls together (with a sewing machine), they can earn $31 per shawl. Note: as a beginner, I have been working on something the size of one half of the shawl for about 5-ish months (off-and-on for a year and 2 months), and while I've seen my time go from 2 hours per row to 45 minutes per row, these women are at least twice as fast as I am and dedicate much more time to it per day. Still, assuming that they can do the entire shawl in 1 month, they are earning $10/month or roughly 33-cents per day. Once the harvest is over, that is the only income the family will have for a couple months.

The Care and Keeping of a Missionary

I am looking forward to seeing you all in November. I will be there for only ONE Sunday this visit instead of my typical two; it will be the second Sunday in November. If I miss you in person, well, I'll be here in the newsletter.

Please be praying for these 10 families as well as the other 12 families who I had planned on serving this year. For those who have been meeting with me, pray that their lives be made better from the program, that they feel strengthened and encouraged as people. For the other 12 families, pray that they have gotten through the year well, without illness, injury, or danger. Pray for their community leader who decided he wanted more time with his family and store than he did meeting with other families. (I can't blame a guy for wanting more time with his family, but he could have passed along the leadership to someone else. Please pray he still does so.) One of those twelve families moved, and we don't know where to; please pray that God watches over them and guides them. One of those twelve families is a widow with two children who I have written about before who decided she didn't want to be part of the program; please pray for her family that they continue alive and that their emotional situation improves.

Shoes and backpacks are on the list of items which the families most want for school. If you or family members have gently used backpacks or shoes that you are willing to donate, I will take them!

Language Learning

So far, we have learned “Thank you”and “You're welcome” in Kaqchikel. Today I want to add “Good morning” to your vocabulary. (If you all greet me on Sunday with this, I'll be impressed.) So, in English, we say “Good morning.” In Spanish, we say, “Buenos dias.” In Kaqchikel, we say “Xseqär,” which we pronounce “sah-car.” (It is actually pronounced a variety of different ways depending on which town you are in. I have also heard “sah-quer,” “shah-car,” and “shah-cash” in different Kaqchikel speaking towns; however, where I work, the first pronunciation is the most used.

Professional Development: Day 1,540

Today and Monday were busy and filled with exciting things (with more still to come this afternoon).  Yesterday, I just rested.  I was exhausted from Monday, from the weekend, from a lot of stuff.  So, you'll be getting two updates today, the first (this one) about the exciting stuff of today which isn't even over yet, and the second about Monday (which I'll probably backdate to have Monday's date on it).

Today, thanks to a college friend, Bethany, I was able to attend the morning session of a When Helping Hurts (or Helping Without Hurting) seminar at Northland Church via the internet.  Online participation was free and available to me here in Guatemala.  That was a big blessing for me.  It addressed a lot of interesting issues concerning helping the "impoverished."  The church is hoping to be able to make it available later.  If that comes to pass, I'll post the link here.  I know there are lots of short-term trip leaders who could benefit from the information presented at the seminar.  (Yes, I'm looking at you, Shawn, Lisa, and Robin!)  There will also be an afternoon session available at 3:30 EDT (an hour and a half from now) concerning microfinancing if anyone wants to attend.

In addition to having a conversation with my sending church, I'm also preparing to have a conversation with the people in my program.  I need to know what they think their gifts are, and I need to know if the program in its current state is helping the people (without creating dependency).  I need to know if they feel empowered.  I also need to find out why they are buying so much sugar with their points; they're going to need dentists soon...

In addition to the seminar, I'm going to figure out how to post pictures on my blog.  While usually there's some picture I could share, today I have one I'm excited to share.  So, give me some time and I'll be back with the other post for Monday's activities.

Into the Final Stretch: Day 1,538

Today (Monday), I went out to Solola for the third marking period review (and also to visit new families for the program which explains why I'm dressed like an American below; not that you know the difference since this is the first time I've posted a picture from a meeting).

There was very little that was normal about this meeting.  First of all, my fiance was able to attend with me, and during the course of the meeting, he explained the importance of education and shared his story about growing up in a family with resources (or a lack thereof) very similar to those of these families.  He also had a very serious talk with one young man who should be in 1st Basico (7th grade) this year about returning to school instead of working in the fields.  It was a conversation that needed to be had man-to-man.

Myself with Mercedes and Wendy

Most grades had improved.  One young man went from earning four points in the second marking period to earning FOURTEEN points in the third!  I was shocked and amazed.  His mother simply told me "It was the shoes."  Little by little the people show me that they are starting to believe in this program and seeing that their own "work" in the form of study can earn them things they want.  One person's grades had gone down drastically, and I was a little worried about it.  So, I asked the father if everything was okay.  He said that his wife had been pregnant but had then had an operation.  The boy was concerned about his mother and didn't want to let her be home alone; so he had missed a few days of school.  And then Mercedes and Wendy--the two girls in 2nd Basico (8th grade)--started pulling out sashes.  Every year for Independence Day (September 15th), all (most?) of the schools have a competition.  This competition, in most cases, is for the young ladies of the school.  It involves a number of contests which often include giving a speech about some topic, displaying cultural knowledge, participating in a traditional dance, designing an outfit based on some theme, and so on.  The judges then award prizes/places to each of the top three contestants.  To anyone who doesn't know the school, you really don't know who was 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, because the places have names, not numbers.  However, I do know that my girls took 2 of the 3 places!   (By the way, mom, do you recognize those shoes?  Donated and earned last month. Thanks.)

So, since we were already in picture-taking mode, we took a group photo as well.  We're making it through this year, and next year we'll be even better.  If you've read the other entry I posted today (which is actually Wednesday), you'll have a peek into what lies ahead for us.  We hope you'll be sticking with us as we continue this journey!

Ten parents from each of the ten families we serve here with our community contact, Manuel, and some of the children from the various families.  (Most children are in school at this time of day.)

Distance & Cultural Connection: Day 1,535

I know, two posts in two days (less than 12 hours, really).  This never happens.  So, I'm a "member" at Velvet Ashes, and by "member," I mean the person who quietly sits in the background reading but not posting much.  It's a community for women [primarily] serving [primarily] abroad, and each week they give a topic to blog about.  Maybe you'll start seeing more of these topic response blogs.  (Not all of the topics apply to me.)  This week, their topic is Distance.  So, here is my response to the prompt:

The prompt mentions two extremes and gives examples.  One missionary so detached from her home culture that she never wanted to go Stateside, and one missionary so detached from her mission culture that she spent all her time on her computer (presumably online chatting with family and friends back home?).  It asks toward which do we lean.

In the United States, the culture pushes towards independence and freedom.  This results in a loss of familial connection.  Adults see their family (outside of spouse and minor children) a few times per year.  For the past FOUR YEARS (next month), I have visited my family once or twice per year.  (My first year, 3 times.)  I feel like I've somehow completed the requirements for "good family member."  That doesn't mean I agree with that aspect of culture, but it is what it is.

I'm not going to pretend that there aren't times when I spend the entire day on the computer.  There are.  Sometimes it's just trying to keep a hold of some idea of what the US culture looks like these days.  So many things change.  For most people who know me, that isn't a problem, but I remember going to hang out with my friend Elaine one one trip back, and we went to hang out with some friends of hers and play games all evening.  At one point I had no clue what who or something was, and someone asked me if I lived in a cave (not knowing at all what I do).  Admittedly, it was a wonderful conversation opener about what I do, but it was a little embarrassing. So, I try to stay up-to-date with at least a few current events, and I do my best to know something about politics so that when someone says "Benghazi," I don't ask "Is that a new car brand?"  (No, didn't happen.)

My fiance (a man from my host country) is attached to his cell phones.  He needs them for work, and work is 24/7.  His phones, because of his job, are not nice phones; they're simply small and meet his needs.  My phone, because of my job, is slightly nicer.  It's not an iPhone or a Blackberry (although both are available here); it's not even a "smartphone" (okay, a part of culture I haven't figured out yet...are those a separate kind of phone or is that a category that iPhones and Blackberries fall into?) or have wi-fi.  I will admit that I can get internet on it, but I don't.  My fiance is connected to his work 24/7, and when I have internet, I am connected to US culture.  That's not something I want 24/7; that's why I don't have internet on my phone (and why I'm glad it doesn't have wi-fi).

It's draining.  US culture is draining, especially for someone who has grown so used to a simpler life.  Which stars are dating?  Which stars are divorced?  What's the newest product in electronics? What did President Obama do this week?  Who got shot?  What rallies/movements are big?  Who won the basketball game?  Who won the football (American football, of course) game?  Who won the hockey game?  Who won the baseball game?  What's the weather like?  What's the top song on the charts?  What happened on "Days of our Lives?" (Is that show still on?)  And probably lots of questions I'm forgetting to ask!  I can't keep up with all that.  It would consume my entire day and all of my days.  (Obviously, the rest of you have some amazing ability that I don't have.  I am in awe...but not...because keep reading.)

Guatemalan culture is so much easier.  I need to know if Real Madrid or Barcelona won their futbol ("soccer," to all you US folks) game.  I may need to know if President Otto Perez Molina (or his VP) has done something interesting, and (unfortunately) I probably need to know if President Obama has done something interesting concerning Latin American relations.  Beyond that, I don't need to know anything, and really, I can avoid the first one by just saying that I'm not into sports; that is a halfway acceptable answer.

Getting back to the question at hand, when I'm in my house, connected to the internet, I am "connected" to my childhood culture.  My visits to the US fulfill my obligations as a single, adult daughter/sister.  When I am not on my computer, I am part of the culture here.  I go to the market.  I weave.  I talk to people.  I have a "goodbye" competition with the little boy at the bakery.  I ride the bus.  I visit my neighbors.  However, because I am an introvert, I think I still interact more with my childhood culture than I do with my host culture.  It is easier for me to be in front of the computer, behind the screen.  But, guess what?  When I'm in the US, it's easier for me to be in front of the computer, behind the screen, communicating with my friends here!

The prompt also asks "What helps you in prioritizing your time and relationships?" and I think I already touched on that when I was talking about my phone/the internet.  When I am on-line, I am 99% immersed in my childhood culture.  There are some nights when I forget for a moment what country I'm in until I look up from the screen.  When I am not on-line, I am 99% in this culture.



On a random, mostly unrelated note:  I was once translating for a team and one young person had never seen a manual window (on a car).  He/She said "Wow, I never understood why they said 'roll up/down the window' before!  I just thought it was some sort of expression."  I was looking at the word "on-line" in that last paragraph and thinking "Kids these days probably don't know where that one comes from either."

Me, not the "Gringa on the Ground": Day 1,534

Just because a person doesn't talk about something doesn't mean it doesn't exist, that it isn't real.  Tonight I'm going to talk about me, Annalisa, 29-years old, holder of a bachelor degree and two associates, massage therapist, cat lover, Christian missionary, woman.  I believe that behind every person, there is a story; there is something that makes us who we are.  There is something that drives us.

I believe that I'm not good enough.  Don't mistake that as a low self-esteem.  I simply believe that on a long-term basis, people deserve someone better than myself in their lives.  Quite frankly, I don't know if any such person exists.  I recognize that I am a human being, a really flawed human being.

I have had a lot of opportunities in my life, many of which I have taken advantage of.  I had some pretty good parents as far as parents go.  At the very least, they were supportive of my brother and I and kept us fed and clothed, clean and dry.  (They're better than that, but we'll just leave that topic there.)  And besides that, I was privileged.  Maybe they didn't buy me those horses I wanted (and probably wouldn't have cared for properly), but they made sure that I had a good education, went to some camps, and was able to participate in extra-curricular activities.  We had enough money for those things.

Not everyone has opportunities like I had.  I know I'm not a real go-getter like some people.  I won't retire by the age of 30.  I don't have kids.  I don't own my own house.  I've never been in a newspaper or magazine let alone featured on the cover.  (Hey, "Kids Say" in the local paper when I was 7 years old--or however old it was--probably doesn't count.  Nor does the alumni update section of my high school alumni magazine.)  And I recognize that there are people who deserve all of that but might never achieve it, and I feel guilty.  I feel guilty for using resources to become this person with this amazingly incredible life that I don't feel I deserve.

And that's a large part of why I'm here.  I'm looking for kids who push and push to become everything they want to be, everything they are capable of being.  Kids who aren't afraid of taking the bull by the horns but aren't able to because they can't afford the bull.  I'm looking for kids who will take the opportunities I was given and the privilege I was born with and will make their future better and brighter.

And it's pathetic.  I look at the things I can do, the things I'm good at (or, rather, "the things at which I'm good," with grammar theoretically being one of them?), and I am shocked and disgusted with myself.  I could be anything I put my mind to ("to which I put my mind"...yep, not going to care about dangling prepositions anymore tonight nor starting sentences with "And" and "But"), and I wonder why I'm not more.  I wonder why I didn't become something I'm capable of becoming.  No, I'm not calling myself a failure either.

I'm engaged.  I almost called my fiance tonight and told him that everything is off.  Instead I sent him a text that simply said "I miss you" (in English, which he isn't that good with).  He is one of those people who isn't afraid to take the bull by the horns, and he's not afraid of working hard to buy the bull.  And the idea of him being stuck with me for the rest of his life is something that scares me.  But it's okay to be scared.  We complement each other, not only him and I, but also the kids I work with and myself.  He and the kids are incredible.  I might have "all the answers," but they're the ones with the drive.

I'm not good enough.  That's why God brought me to them and them to me.  We have what each other needs.

Mission Moment: September

A reminder that these are the articles I write for my sending church's newsletter.  Some of them have been edited for privacy.

 A few days ago, I went out to the village to meet with my families. It was a meeting that was supposed to take place about 2 months ago, but due to schedule conflicts, it didn't. At any rate, it gave me the opportunity to dive further into the lives of the families which I serve. Some of the things I learn, I learn by way of stories in which the people actually share something with me and know they are sharing it. Some of the things I learn are learned by deduction...and accounts from other missionaries.

One of the first things I heard upon arriving Wednesday, after everyone was all settled, was “You kept your word. You did what you said you would do, and here is the evidence.” The government here is apparently notorious for helping once or twice and abandoning the people. The people who I am serving didn't expect me to come back. I guess when the bar is set that incredibly low, two months late doesn't seem like such a big deal, but that doesn't mean it should be acceptable.

Later, as I was dealing with my two 8^th grade girls and their mothers, I had a chance to ask them what they want to do with their lives. (I actually had to give them real money to pay their school fees which is why I waited until everyone else had left.) The girls are Wendy and Mercedes, and they each have a different story and a different dream.

I know I have mentioned Wendy before on my blog, and perhaps I mentioned her in a newsletter as well. She and her little sister make baskets out of pine needles, and the family offers all sorts of handmade goods in their store along the side of the highway. They are renting the house they live in. Although poor, most of my families at least own their land. She admits that her parents don't have the money to pay for her education; so she's grateful for the help she receives through the program. Her little sister is also in school. Wendy told me that she'd like to graduate from college, possibly as a lawyer. While I would applaud any moral career choice, Guatemala needs more female professionals, especially in the legal field, especially sympathetic to the needs and culturally-placed limitations of the Mayans. I would love for her to accomplish her dreams; I think it would be a wonderful step forward for that entire region.

It's possible that I haven't mentioned Mercedes before, but if I had to pick just one person who I am doing this for, it would probably be her. Mercedes is the oldest of three children. Her little sister has some sort of undiagnosed condition (despite medical exams by American and Guatemalan doctors and blood tests which were reviewed in Switzerland) which appears to be some sort of muscular dystrophy. The young girl, Clara, is unable to talk or walk and usually struggles with holding her head up straight. I already knew all of that, but what I didn't know is that their father is an alcoholic. (Perhaps it is because he feels powerless to help his youngest child, but I'm not going to make his excuses for him.) This I learned because Mercedes showed up on Wednesday with a failing grade in one of her classes.

Passing is a 60, but I ask 70s from all of the kids because I don't want to get to the last semester and have anyone fail the entire year. So, I asked her why her grade was so low, and she told me it was because she didn't turn in a project. Why didn't she turn it in? Because she didn't do it. Why didn't she do it? Because dad had drank all the money in the house; so there wasn't any money to buy the supplies for the project. Okay...that probably also means that there wasn't food for meals or any number of other important things that people spend money on.

If I ever needed a reason to keep going, it would be for Mercedes. Her mother is exhausted. She actually looked a bit younger/less exhausted the other day, but she still looks like her years are numbered. With the father unable to make objective choices concerning if people eat or not in his household, I can't believe that he'll be the one caring for the family when his wife finally gives out. Luis, Mercedes and Clara's brother, is 13. He has finished the 6^th grade and decided that he does not want to keep studying; so he is now working as a day laborer. When there is work, he works. When he works, he can buy food for the family. When there is not work, people go hungry without another income. Basically, Mercedes is going to be her sister's caretaker the rest of their lives. Unless Mercedes can get a good job or marry well, she will have a very difficult life (even without her sister to care for). I can't guarantee that she marries well, but I do know this: if Mercedes can finish her education, she has a better chance at a good job. (She wants to be a secretary.) By staying in school, she also has a better chance at meeting and marrying an educated man who would also have a better chance at getting a good job.

I fear for the kids in my program. I read all too often in the newspaper—and hear stories from other missionaries—about what often happens in many Guatemalan households. I fear for Clara. I fear for Mercedes. I fear for Wendy. But mostly I take solace in the fact that there is a merciful God who is watching out for them and all the other kids.

Language Learning

As I mentioned in July, one member suggested that it might be interesting to learn some of the Mayan language--Kaqchikel--which my families speak. I apologize that I forgot your lesson in the August newsletter. In July, we learned “Matiox” (Ma-TEE-oush) which means “Thank you.” This month we're going to learn the logical follow-up: “You're welcome.” I am not sure how this looks written; so I will only be able to give you the pronunciation.

In English, we say “You're welcome.” In Spanish, we say “De nada” (which literally translates to “of nothing”). In Kaqchikel, we say “Ma-hoon ri ba-noon.” They laugh every time I say it, but they insist that it's the correct response.

The Care and Keeping of a Missionary

I received a lovely e-mail from Hope this month letting me know about a musical mission group that was in Guatemala. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend any of their concerts, but I was really thrilled to get her e-mail. Thanks, Hope! Anyone else who would like to write to me for whatever reason can reach me at asimmer@gmail.com.

As far as my prayer requests go, I'm okay as far as health care goes. I'll be able to have my appointment when I have my visit to the States. However, my friend did not get his visa; so he will not be visiting with me. He believes that God must have other plans; so we'll see what those are!

Thank you for all your support. Your prayers help keep me going, and your donations help children like Mercedes and Wendy get educations to better their own futures and those of the people around them. You can stay up-to-date (more or less) with my blog at http://GringaOnTheGround.blogspot.com. It's just like reading the news on-line, and you don't need to make an account or sign up for anything.

Racism, the US, and a reaction: Day 1,503

Some of you know that one of my main methods of communicating with friends both in the US and all over the world is via Facebook.  As I was catching up on what everyone has been up to tonight, I saw that a college friend of mine had posted an article.  (Please take a moment to click on that link as the rest of this will all make a lot more sense if you at least know what the article is about.)  My first response to her link was "I'm not average," but I was.

When I lived in the US--4 years ago--all of my friends were white.  I had one black friend from college.  I had one half-Latino friendly acquaintance. My only Asian "friends" were my adopted cousins.  And, via marriage, my family is a little more diverse than some.

Today, my "first language" is Spanish.  It's the language I draft my speeches in.  It's the language I assume everything is in when there is little context.  (I was playing a game with animals in it the other day and the mouse-over tag for one animal was "llama."  My brain processed the word as though it was Spanish.)  It's often the language I speak to my pets in.  It's pretty much the only language my fiance and his family speak.  It's the language my neighbors speak.  And it's pretty much the only language I'll respond to on the street...no matter how many times the men yell at me "Good morning, my love!" as I walk past.

Today, the majority of the friends I interact with on a daily basis are Hispanic.  Most of my neighbors are Hispanic.  The only white people I typically interact with are an interesting group of "I'm here until I'm not" kind of people.  The short-termers--people here for a couple months--and the retirees are folks who I don't hang out with because I have essentially nothing in common with them (see article).

The conversation on my friend's Facebook page then turned to people of mixed race and how they feel/see the world.  I'm not mixed race, but I do consider myself to be bicultural at this point and I recognize that my children will be mixed race.  Which is when I started typing the following response and realized all of it would make a better blog post:

I also think that it is very different for people such as myself--which is why I stated that I'm not average, but I was before I came here--who have spent substantial time in a foreign (and non-white) country.  If I were to return to the US, I might make a decision to live in a Latino neighborhood.  But, then again, I might not.  The fact is that my neighbors here understand that there is no "white neighborhood."  (Okay, there is a white city.  I lived there for 6 months.  I hated it.  I worked too hard to pay the rent and too little on the reasons I'm down here.  In the town I now live in, there's no white neighborhood.)  My neighbors accept that I do things their way because that's the way things are done here.  I feel that if I moved to a "Latino neighborhood" in Michigan (somewhere in Pontiac or Detroit?) that my neighbors wouldn't be as accepting of me...even with my (future) Latino spouse because, let's face it, la gringuita tiene muchas opciones; no tiene que estar aqui mostrando sus 'riquezas' ("The little white girl has lots of options; she doesn't have to be here showing off her 'wealth.'") or so they'd probably think.

To be quite honest, if I were in the US, I'd rather be a poor, white girl in a white neighborhood than I would a poor white girl in a non-white neighborhood.  It's a race thing that I've encountered a lot down here, especially when I was living in the "white city" or even when I go there now.  Non-white people assume that white people have money.  White people don't assume that about white people; although they do assume that most non-white people don't (except for Asians and Jews).  So, if I were to live in the US, I would prefer to live among people who don't assume anything about my wealth or lack thereof...which would lead to increased potential for white friendships and decrease potential for non-white friendships.

Which actually leads me briefly to the topic of "reverse racism."  First of all, the definition of racism is as follows: "The belief that all members of each race possess characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races" (Oxford Dictionary).  So, really, in my mind, "reverse racism" should take that definition and put a "not" in it.  "White people are rich" is a racist statement.  Guess what?  I don't have extra income.  I eat meat maybe once per month because I don't have money to buy it otherwise.  And, sure, I have a "Mommy/Daddy/Brother, get me out of here" button--something my neighbors don't have--that I can press whenever I want, but it's a one-way trip to a life I don't want to have, a life I wasn't called to, a life I would probably detest.

I recently read something that said that women's brains are like wires: everything is connected to everything else.  I guess that's sort of how this post reads as well...

Positives and Negatives: Day 1,491

The big negative is short and not-so-sweet: it appears that I've lost an entire community.  It's possible that it will be revived in the future--we do have all the names--but I doubt it will be the same as it could have been.

The positives were the comments made in my other community today:
1. "You did what you said you'd do."
This should not have to be listed as a positive.  So many times these people are promised help and they do not receive it, not from the government and not from the outside world.  These people took a chance on me, and they are slowly learning that I'm not here to let them down.  God willing, I never will.  Granted, the program isn't running as smoothly as I'd like it to yet, but we're all stumbling through it together.
2. "My son is whole thanks to you."
I can't really take the credit for this one, but they give it to me anyway.  As I've told others, I often serve merely as a bridge.  Some rivers are harder to cross than others without a bridge; some rivers are so wide that they seem more like oceans than rivers.  Such was the case of one of my families.  They have a daughter who was basically constantly seizing, and they have a son who was born without a hand.  (Now, I think the son was still in school thanks to not having the hand, but that's hopefully not going to be an issue with the educational program.)  When we last met, in May, the boy was still waiting for his prosthesis.  It isn't anything fancy, but he has it now and it works for him.  His mother is happy, and I'm getting the credit because I got on-line and found someone who could help him.  (Anyone know and ophthalmologist?  I need one of those for a girl and haven't had any luck yet.)  Besides all that, her son already was whole; they all just feel like he is more whole now.
3. Not a comment, but the majority of grades are improving!
This is good.  This is what we want to see.  Unfortunately, that also means that the people have more points to spend which means more funds are needed.  I had some people who said in May that they were going to help me out with this up in Michigan, but I have no update from them.  (As one of them is a teacher, I figured I'd give him time for classes to be over for the summer before I expected anything.)
4. A lot more things I'm sure, but...

One negative is that I have made almost no progress on improving my Kaqchikel.  I say "almost" because I did meet someone who said he would teach me.  It would be a Q40 round-trip bus ride to meet with him.  Maybe we can split the cost and travel time and meet in the middle, trading languages.  It's a thought.  While some of the people here in San Antonio speak Kaqchikel, it's certainly a different dialect than they speak in Solola.  I often get weird looks when I use my San Antonian Kaqchikel in Solola.  (When I use my Solola Kaqchikel, they laugh at me just because they think it's funny to hear those words coming out of my mouth, but they do understand and appreciate it.)  I would love to understand them more and in their own language.

Another negative from today was little Griselda.  She's about 7 years old, and she doesn't want to go to school.  Her mother is a widow.  She says she sends the girl to school, but she doesn't go; she goes and hides.  So, the girl failed this marking period.  So, I had a talk with mom about being in charge of the family, that if she says something has to be done, it has to be done or there are consequences.  I guess I'm as close to a truancy officer as there is around here; anyway, I hope and pray that Griselda goes back to school.

So as to not end on negatives,
5. I talked to both Mercedes and Wendy today.  They are my two girls in 8th grade. (The most advanced in the program.)  I asked them what they wanted to do with their lives.  Mercedes wants to be a secretary, and Wendy wants to be a lawyer.  The first is a high school degree, and the second is a university degree.  I'm behind these girls 100%; I hope you are too.  Mercedes's little sister is another one of our special needs girls, and she admitted today that her father is somewhat of an alcoholic.  (She had a really low grade in one of her classes, and when I asked about it, she said that because her father had drank all the money in the house, she didn't have the money to buy the supplies to do her project.  So, she didn't do it and didn't turn it in.)  That means that when her mother dies, taking care of her little sister falls on her (and her brother who only completed 6th grade and doesn't want to study any further).  It's a tough situation, and probably the only way that the family will make it through together is if Mercedes finishes school.  Wendy is the one we need the eye doctor for.  She was ill about two years ago, and since then her eyesight has been diminishing steadily.  Her mother figures the girl only has about a year to go before she would be considered blind.  Please pray for my girls.

Mission Moment: August

 June and July is when a lot of short-term mission teams come down to Guatemala, and I often am hired to translate for them. Just a few weeks of translating greatly offsets my costs for the rest of the year; so I don't hesitate to pick up the jobs as long as they're with groups I know and trust. And, as always happens, the people in these groups start asking me what I'm doing down here; so I tell them about the educational program. The question is inevitably asked if they can come down and do a week of mission work with me. I often avoid this question by simply telling them that I'm not ready for groups to come down yet, but the reality is that I'll never be ready.

Imagine that I showed up at your house with 5-20 Japanese millionaires. They all have some sort of badge on their chest which looks slightly different on each of them, but you have no clue what it says. They walk around your house—with only one or two of them even asking permission to come in—and proceed to point at stuff and talk in Japanese. Some of them are even laughing. Then one of them—who seems like the leader and was at least one of the ones who asked for permission to enter your house—asks you for a hammer in passable English. After supplying the requested hammer, one of them starts to break open one of your walls. They install something they brought with them, show what it does, and go away smiling.

The question is if you would be smiling. Did you need whatever it was that they installed? Didn't you get along fine without it before? Did you know they were coming? Did you know what they were going to do to your house which, although humble, you loved how it was? Why were they laughing? What were they pointing at? They're all things which are understood differently in different cultures, and because of the language barrier, they are often things that can be misunderstood.

And maybe, besides the money, that's why I translate for these groups because, after nearly 4 years here, I can translate the joke about as fast as they can make it; so we can all laugh together. I can explain the process and explain how the finished product works. And maybe, just maybe, I can limit the damage done by well-intentioned people.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not opposed to all groups. Medical teams are very important. People who come to teach a skill are very important. I had a neighbor missionary lose one of his special needs girls a week or two ago. She stopped breathing, and he called an ambulance to come. The ambulance personnel didn't know how to do CPR; so he went and did CPR all the way to the hospital. There are needs which Americans can come down and help with on a short-term basis, but putting stoves and cement floors in homes aren't them. And I certainly don't see myself inviting groups down any time soon.

Just one more week of translating and I'm back to my normal work. That will be nice.

The Care and Keeping of a Missionary

So, according to the Affordable Care Act, people who are outside of the country more than 330 are exempt. That means as long as I don't have more than two 2-week visits during the year, I don't need health insurance. However, as my parents get older, I want to have the option; so while I was there in June I applied for Medicare and was accepted. Now they're saying that I have 60 days to have a physical done with my new primary care physician in the US. Please pray that they'll extend the deadline for me. This does mean that, regardless of other situations, I will be back in November for a visit, dates not yet decided.

I also have a friend applying for a visa to visit the US. Please keep him in your prayers as well.

As always, thank you for your support. Your prayers and your financial donations go a long way toward helping the people. I'm looking forward to my next trip out to Solola at the end of July. Remember you can reach me at any time via asimmer@gmail.com and I try to keep my blog (an on-line journal) updated at http://GringaOnTheGround.blogspot.com.

Affordable Care Act and Foreign Living: Day 1,465

The Affordable Care Act (or "Obamacare") is something that has sparked a lot of controversy in the US.  "Every American will have health care!"  I get it.  I do.  Everyone has the right to life.  But what about us Americans who live outside of the country?  What about those of us who live in countries with health care so inexpensive that we just don't bother with medical insurance?  Don't worry...they thought about that.  Americans who spend over 330 days per year outside of the US do not need medical insurance.  (I'm still not sure how they figure that out.)  But what does this mean for me as my parents get older?  What does this mean for me if there is some emergency in my family and I need to go to the US to help take care of things?  So, from over 2,000 miles away--and with the help of my mother--I registered for Government Health Care and was accepted.  I am not proud of the fact that I now take your tax dollars just so I can be in the country for more than 35 days of the year.  I'm actually quite ashamed...that the United States is denying their own citizens the right to be in their own country.  As my own mother recently said (in reference to something else): "They can't really keep you out."  Maybe not, mom, but they sure can make it difficult to be there.

Mission Moment: July

 So, I've been back in Guatemala about 2 weeks at the time of writing this. And when I was there planning on being here, I had all sorts of plans such as meeting with my communities my first full-week back and putting the shelves in my other bookcase (which I was missing the supports to and bought while I was in the US).
Then I started reading about the bad news: tropical storm. I have a slightly leaky roof. There's no hole in it; so there's not really anything anyone can do to fix it. I tend to keep a bucket under it and empty the bucket on a regular basis...I was hoping it would survive 2 weeks of rain, but not with a tropical storm. So, I came home to a slightly flooded upstairs including my dirty clothes pile which I hadn't had a chance to wash due to my last-minute trip out of the village; that was now moldy. A neighbor boy said he'd be over to help me install the washing machine I just bought cheap from someone who was leaving the country, but he still hasn't found the time.

In the meantime, I decided to fix up that other bookcase, and I found that the pegs were too small. Using wonderful logic skills, I decided that the boards would hold the pegs in place and proceeded to put the shelves and books in anyway. The brilliant person I am, I decided to start from the top and work down. (There actually was logic to this as I would be able to see the underside of each shelf easier doing it in this fashion; why I put the books on right away, I'm not sure.) The result was two shelves worth of books smashing my thumb. Fortunately, there's a nurse on the corner who assured me it wasn't broken and splinted it for me.

Now the thumb is mostly back to normal, some of the clothes have been washed by hand and dried, and I'm swamped with stuff to get done before I spend all of next week translating for a group. The road to the village is particularly dangerous right now because of all the rain; there's a high probability of mudslides. That being said, it's probably best I can't go out until the week after this anyway. At least my oven is working properly as I love to serve my neighbors by making them baked goods.

Sometimes mission life looks a lot like regular life. I hope to have some more stories about the families for you soon!

Language Learning

One member suggested sharing with you all some of the excitement I deal with when I work with the indigenous people. Guatemala has 24 national languages: Spanish, 21 Mayan languages, and 2 non-Mayan indigenous languages. The people who I am primarily working with at the current time are Kaqchikel Mayans. Their language is Kaqchikel. So, I'll be taking some time each newsletter to share with you a tiny piece of their language. As Kaqchikel is not particularly a written language, I won't always be able to give you the spelling of the words, but I'll try to give you a pronunciation.

“Thank you” in Spanish is “Gracias” which you pronounce “Grah-see-ahs.” In Kaqchikel, it is “Matiox” which you pronounce “Mah-tee-osh.” “Matiox” was one of my first words in Kaqchikel because it's always good to be polite!

The Care and Keeping of a Missonary

It was really great seeing many of you during my visit! Thank you for your prayers. It's always wonderful to have a chance to visit with you all and share personally what I'm doing, including some of the challenges I face. I love the feedback I get from you as well! I mentioned to some of you that I might be visiting in November; I do not know yet if that will be happening. I should know by the time I write my next article; so stay tuned! God bless you all!